We're hitting the open road the day after tomorrow after a relaxing week in Partytown, USA (nickname: Rochester, Minnesota).

Since getting here, I've been very excited about doing everything in threes, since I am three years old after all. This covers everything from being served three of every food item to (really) squeezing out exactly three turds when I'm on the can. I've also had a great time showing Grandma Nene how well I can talk. In fact, just the other day I informed her that my favorite color was blue, my favorite TV show was Little Einsteins, and my favorite grandma was Grandma Lisa. She was positively glowing!

But you're my favorite grandmother named Nene. That means something, right?

I also took in my first rock concert. My cousin Tom's band, The Futures, performed at the local high school along with some lesser opening acts. The highlight was Tom belting out a cover of Weezer's classic "Say It Ain't So." And that was exactly my feeling when I found out that their set was over. You heard it here first-- this band has a "future"! And I have a future writing vapid blurbs for movie posters.

My parents were trying to get me to either show my devil horns or raise high the goblet of rock. This was merely a one-tongue show, though. A few more gigs and they'll be goblet-worthy.

Once dad arrived, I took him out to the links to teach him a little something:

First off, your pants are way too subtle. And you grip your club like you're gripping a... never mind.

I intend to discover America in the next few days as we visit what dad has informed me are some of our national treasures: Mt. Rushmore, Old Faithful, Wall Drug, and something the French apparently call Le Big Titty Mountains. As someone who missed out on a lot of the breast-feeding craze, I'm pretty psyched.