I am a huge fan of carnivals. The rides are great, the food is nice and greasy. But what I really look forward to is the unabashed celebration of the grotesque and appalling. In this respect, the local fair in Charlottesville this past weekend did not disappoint.
The first thing I did upon arrival was get the lay of the land atop the ferris wheel:
OK... I'm just trying not to think about the last time this junker was inspected.
What I saw from the top was truly mind-boggling. You readers can share in my wonder by clicking on the picture below, printing it out on your computer, and circling all of the revoltingly obese people. It's fun for the whole family! (Answer key at the bottom)
1-3 --> You've been eating funnel cakes for so long, you wouldn't know a triple-chin if it smacked you upside the head.
4-6 --> Look harder. Fatties don't just hang out in the foreground.
7-9 --> You're starting to appreciate the flesh-fest.
10-12 --> You have a fairly well-honed flab-dar!
13-15 --> Impressive. You've made the honor "roll"... heh heh.
16+ --> You obviously have too much time on your hands. Put down the magnifying glass and get a life immediately. Or some exercise.
After seeing the big picture, I had to get a close up view, so I hopped aboard the elephant safari:
Oh my god, are those C-cups??? They ARE C-cups!!!
As fun as it was, the afternoon took a depressing turn when I paused to consider that the cost of the obesity epidemic was going to fall on the shoulders of my generation. Ari, my date for the afternoon, had to give me a hug.
I beg you, don't look in that direction. It's too much!
As promised, here is the answer key:
How'd you do? Either way, give yourself a big fat pat on the back.
The first thing I did upon arrival was get the lay of the land atop the ferris wheel:
OK... I'm just trying not to think about the last time this junker was inspected.
What I saw from the top was truly mind-boggling. You readers can share in my wonder by clicking on the picture below, printing it out on your computer, and circling all of the revoltingly obese people. It's fun for the whole family! (Answer key at the bottom)
1-3 --> You've been eating funnel cakes for so long, you wouldn't know a triple-chin if it smacked you upside the head.
4-6 --> Look harder. Fatties don't just hang out in the foreground.
7-9 --> You're starting to appreciate the flesh-fest.
10-12 --> You have a fairly well-honed flab-dar!
13-15 --> Impressive. You've made the honor "roll"... heh heh.
16+ --> You obviously have too much time on your hands. Put down the magnifying glass and get a life immediately. Or some exercise.
After seeing the big picture, I had to get a close up view, so I hopped aboard the elephant safari:
Oh my god, are those C-cups??? They ARE C-cups!!!
As fun as it was, the afternoon took a depressing turn when I paused to consider that the cost of the obesity epidemic was going to fall on the shoulders of my generation. Ari, my date for the afternoon, had to give me a hug.
I beg you, don't look in that direction. It's too much!
As promised, here is the answer key:
How'd you do? Either way, give yourself a big fat pat on the back.
posted by elikaplowitz at 7:10 AM
3 Comments:
There was a carnival in Charlottesville and I didn't know about it?!?! Sigh.
Well, I'm not sad I missed out on the obesity on parade. That's just gross. What is it about a carnival that brings these people out?
Hope you had fun anyhoo.
That looks like a solid hug that your lady friend is giving you. I could use a hug like that.
Make sure that you watch out and stay away from that greasy food they have at the fare Eli. I read in the paper that grease fires can be very dangerous. How your daddy has time for class and study with all that research and this writing always amazes me.
Love, Grandpa Keith
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