Today was something of a red letter day. The following things took place within a two hour span:

1) Monty ate a leaky AAA battery.
2) We took Marge to the vet to get a shot. The vet left the syringe right in front of me, and I started playing with it and squirting the stuff everywhere. When the vet showed me that it was a needle, I started screaming. The vet calmly explained that I wasn't getting a shot, and it was just for Marge. At which point, I yelled, "Run, Marge! Run!"
3) I dumped an entire bottle of bubble bath into the bathtub. It was an economy-sized bottle, so the water was literally half bubble bath.
4) While mommy was inspecting the ensuing rash, I farted in her face.

Good times. Mayhem is so much more fun when daddy is out of town.