Mom and dad got back from Venezuela yesterday, putting and end to my kick-butt six-day grandparent vacation. I took this opportunity to unveil my patented 3 Stages of Reparentalization:
1) Joy - This tends to be an involuntary reaction to the fact that I actually missed my parents. Once I am able to control myself and suppress my real emotions, it is time to proceed to...
2) Anger - Throwing myself on the floor and other tantrum-related activities. Generally accompanied by frequent use of the word "no." After venting for a few hours, it's on to...
3) Guilt - This is the critical juncture where success can mean getting taken along on the next vacation, and failure can mean mom and dad wanting to go on vacation again as soon as possible. This approach can take a number of forms. As a segue from the anger phase, it can involve crying when mom or dad go into the next room out of fear that they will run out the back door and board another plane for Latin America. Later, guilt can take the more subtle form of talking nonstop about the fun things I did while mom and dad were gone and using all of the new words and phrases I learned in their absence.
The key is to know when to drop the schtick and go back to being my normal crazy self. You can't overplay your hand or else it will totally backfire. When mom and dad start looking at Expedia.com when you're playing in the other room, you know you've taken it too far.
Switching gears... Mom and dad are too lazy to start their own blog, so they've asked me to post some pictures from their trip. They wanted me to let everyone know that they did not run into Harry Belafonte while they were there, but if they had they would have asked for his autograph and then told him to stick to his Day-O job and stay out of the "goodwill ambassador" business.
Mom and dad next to a big boat-- perhaps a banana boat. Could that be Harry Belafonte on the deck? Hmm...
Caracas, with a giant ski lift. According to mom and dad, Caracas is best seen from this distance.
Dad, very proud of his $1 DVDs. Can you believe this guy is going to be a lawyer one day?
Mom doing the chaka chaka dance at the wedding. I'm a little disturbed that she appears to be having fun without me.
Evidently one of the natives in traditional ceremonial tribal attire. I'm not sure what this picture is doing here.
1) Joy - This tends to be an involuntary reaction to the fact that I actually missed my parents. Once I am able to control myself and suppress my real emotions, it is time to proceed to...
2) Anger - Throwing myself on the floor and other tantrum-related activities. Generally accompanied by frequent use of the word "no." After venting for a few hours, it's on to...
3) Guilt - This is the critical juncture where success can mean getting taken along on the next vacation, and failure can mean mom and dad wanting to go on vacation again as soon as possible. This approach can take a number of forms. As a segue from the anger phase, it can involve crying when mom or dad go into the next room out of fear that they will run out the back door and board another plane for Latin America. Later, guilt can take the more subtle form of talking nonstop about the fun things I did while mom and dad were gone and using all of the new words and phrases I learned in their absence.
The key is to know when to drop the schtick and go back to being my normal crazy self. You can't overplay your hand or else it will totally backfire. When mom and dad start looking at Expedia.com when you're playing in the other room, you know you've taken it too far.
Switching gears... Mom and dad are too lazy to start their own blog, so they've asked me to post some pictures from their trip. They wanted me to let everyone know that they did not run into Harry Belafonte while they were there, but if they had they would have asked for his autograph and then told him to stick to his Day-O job and stay out of the "goodwill ambassador" business.
Mom and dad next to a big boat-- perhaps a banana boat. Could that be Harry Belafonte on the deck? Hmm...
Caracas, with a giant ski lift. According to mom and dad, Caracas is best seen from this distance.
Dad, very proud of his $1 DVDs. Can you believe this guy is going to be a lawyer one day?
Mom doing the chaka chaka dance at the wedding. I'm a little disturbed that she appears to be having fun without me.
Evidently one of the natives in traditional ceremonial tribal attire. I'm not sure what this picture is doing here.
posted by elikaplowitz at 9:12 PM
2 Comments:
Hey Eli, looks like your dad is developing a bit of a belly... ;) Might want to tell him to lighten up on the Krispy Kremes...
Your belly adds gravitas.
At least thats what I tell myself about me ...
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